An Epiphany

I was reading an interesting blog this morning called Thrivecraft, written by a former Buddist Monk, turned life coach. I was reading her article about how wonderful it would be to have help available all the time.

I had an epiphany! As I was reading, it dawned on me that I have been helping myself my whole life! Here's what I read.

Find Your Answers September 8, 2009 The Easy Way to Create Your Personal Help Hotline.

Wouldn’t it be amazing to feel that you could have help whenever you need it? The astonishing fact is that superb help is right there inside you, waiting to be tapped, every single day. Whether you are in the supermarket wondering what to buy for dinner, or finalising a major life decision on a deadline, inner answers and deep personal guidance are only a few breaths away.

The wisdom of the universe is ever present – a great sky full of answers to your everyday questions and a vast ocean of understanding that makes sense of your deepest problems. In days gone by we knew how to commune with this cosmic guidance system, but our modern lifestyle is such that we’ve by and large forgotten all about it. We scurry about getting more and more confused, taking wrong turns and running in circles. No wonder we don’t feel so good these days, that something is missing in our lives.

This is what I thought:

I have been looking to the universe my whole life, I just forgot that's where I draw my strength. My whole life everyone that has known the real me was amazed at my strength, and commented on it all the time. Since I was a child I have known that I had to rely on myself and I just knew instinctually to go within. It was only when I allowed outer influences, like people, such as my mother, father, schoolmates and others to convince me that I was worthless and not enough.

I see now that living with those kinds of influences has created a low self esteem, how could it not? Convinced by my elders and others, my damaged self esteem has actually joined the attack. I believe now that my low self esteem has alway been the part that battled my inner strength, fighting, sabotaging and making biting remarks that played and re-played in my brain about strength. Minimizing, always minimizing!

Well that is going to change starting today! I will look into what is available out there and most importantly, I will look within and rekindle that relationship with my self.

That reminds me of the quote from Marianne Williamson; "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”