"Dominion" and "The Stories I Tell Myself"

I just did my morning Tarot reading and was thinking as I shuffled.

But first I have to tell you this;

In the back of my mind I've been formulating a theme for writing about myself on this journey. Something to go with the life timeline I'm creating to add details of different times and thoughts. I was thinking about calling it “The Stories I Tell Myself”. It's from something I read on the internet, got from one of my online groups or someone's blog or a website I'd been looking at. Or it could even be from something I've been reading recently. It's about what we tell ourselves so we don't have to accomplish the goal or succeed. Possibility from Wayne Dyer's Excuses Begone. Anyway, I thought that it would be fun to start a separate journal entry about “The Stories I Tell Myself”.

Well, back to the tarot reading........while shuffling I was thinking about a commitment I had made to one of my spark teams, possibly, Inner Journey, about meaningful eating, just the night before, I'm talking hours here. That night I wrote to my team about how I would concentrate on meaningful eating of my meals by lighting candles, using special dishes and playing soft music.

Within an hour of making that commitment I took my bowl of soup to the TV room and sat down and ate that entire bowl of soup in a semi-trance.

OK! Back to Tarot.....Shuffling. Here's the “story” I was telling myself when I realized that I had completely forgotten about my team promise..............

If I had my own house I could do all that.

If I didn't have a room mate I could do that, because it would be an inconvenience to her for me to do all that.

If I was home every night (I'm a caregiver for the elderly and work 72 hour shifts) I could do all that.

Then as I started listening to the stories, I realized, I need to find a way of making my meals meaningful no matter where I am, and that I need to listen to these stories I tell myself because there's a real message there......very interesting!

OK! Now, the reading!

The Dominion card in the soul position, reversed. That's the 2 of wands, and reversed means there's a block or resistance to the idea of the card.

This is the dictionary's meaning for dominion:

1. Control or the exercise of control; sovereignty: "The devil . . . has their souls in his possession, and under his dominion" (Jonathan Edwards).

2. A territory or sphere of influence or control; a realm.

3. often Dominion Abbr. Dom. One of the self-governing nations within the British Commonwealth.

4. dominions Christianity See domination

That's exactly what I meant when I was going over all the stories I tell myself, thinking about having my “OWN” house and “room mate”, not being in control to choose whatever I want.

This is what the tarot handbook said about my card, Dominion; “Spiritual Sovereignty, Power” - This is a state of integration and optimum balance. This is Mars in Aries; Mars shows dynamic forcefulness, energy, charge and direction, but only from a place of full power, dominion and balance (the two wands that are unified). When a person is drawn toward this card it is an indication of powerful spiritual force and drive to begin something new, to be a pioneer. There are gifts of dynamic energy and leadership ability to be expressed.

Now I took that to mean; I have the power! I can do it the way I want. After all I'm not really asking for that much. May be I won't light candles or listen to soft music and I'll just use the plates and dishes that are available at the moment. I can certainly eat with silent meaningfulness, no matter what.